


A Collapsar

by TheLordofPhantomhive



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Black Butler - Freeform, Bravat Sky, Cannon, Cannonverse, Collapsar, Dark Butler, Gift Fic, Kuroshitsuji - Freeform, M/M, POV Sebastian Michaelis, SebaCIel Secret Santa, SebaCiel - Freeform, Sebastian x Ciel - Freeform, black hole, manga-based, sebastian POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 08:19:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7259797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLordofPhantomhive/pseuds/TheLordofPhantomhive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Collapsar- a Black Hole. Sebastian always pulled those around him into the abyss, regardless of whether he cared them about them or not. It had been that way eternally...until he met a certain boy. Will the Collapsar of his existence eventually close due to Ciel's interference with his heart? Does he even have a heart...?    Cannonverse. SebaCiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Collapsar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thaliaarche](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thaliaarche/gifts).



> This was my gift to @thaliaarche for the SebaCiel Secret Santa of 2015! I really enjoyed participating in it.
> 
> Also, I literally cannot express just how much I thank @CielPhantomhive for her hard work on this. She helped me so much, you should really check out her works, as well. From betaying to helping with the word count, you worked as hard on Collapsar as I did. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

A Collapsar, or Black Hole, as it’s been called by humans these days, is the name of a phenomena in space, one that has a gravitational field so intense that no matter or radiation can escape, and I may as well say that such a wonder and myself have been pointed out to have a similarity.

 

**_“The stars that are drawn to you stray from their orbits to wander the murk for all eternity.”_ **

 

Not only stars, but any object, as well… Not even the brightest of lights can escape me… The brightest of stars loses its shine if it gets close enough to me. Well, it can be said that I came to him, as well. However, he had the choice of walking away, yet he chose to take on that darkness. To be absorbed by me, and to never come back. He gave everything up for a foolish revenge, and to the star Sirius the Collapsar became servant, but just for a little while…

For the time for sure will come, in which the darkness absorbs everything, be it in its path or not. Any mere object, be it a star, a constellation, dust, _the source of all light itself_ … being so much as _near_ will be trapped, forever, and lose itself. Lose everything that it was, or could have been, in the future.

The boy knew about this, for I warned him, myself. He made his choice, all by himself.

He chose to _“ **Abandon the Light for the path to Hell…”**_

It was pitiful, foolish, but beautiful, all the same… To watch him walk into the abyss at a noble stride, with not an ounce of hesitation.

It made _me_ hesitate.

Was it really what this child wanted? Or was he simply acting all high and mighty because I was there? Was it all a farce, or the ugly truth? I was supposed to be able to tell such things, but for some reason, I could not.

It was starting to get to me.

Why is this child so special? What is so different about him, compared to the many contractees I’ve had in the past? I cannot so much as remember their names; they meant that little to me. However, there’s this new feeling I cannot seem to shake off.

The feeling that something would be different with this contract, and many things have indeed been.

Meeting Shinigami while on a contract, having to _interact_ with them… My Master’s close relation to them, which I still do not quite understand… That is merely the beginning of it. Too many strange things have happened so far, and I may still have a few more years under this contract.

Just what more strange and amusing things can happen? Just how many more insane humans will I see while in contract with this boy? Just for how much longer will I not be bored with everything?

With my life, my existence, my kind, hell, humans, themselves… Everything was starting to get boring, to lose its color, and its shine. Yet, somehow, since I met him, everything has changed. Thanks to him I have seen so many things that in the past I would have deemed impossible; met so many humans who never cease to amuse me in all aspects, he, Ciel Phantomhive himself being one of those with the most potential.

With the right nurturing, he will be capable of so much more… And I will be there, watching it all with my very own eyes.

 

**_Watching as the child who once oozed nothing but innocence becomes something by far more evil and corrupted than the Devil by his side._ **

 

Ah, just how much more will I be able to see? How much more will this _boy_ choose to endure before he finally calls it quits? Before he finally breaks down and says he’s had enough? He’s endured this long, so headstrong, yet where is his breaking point? Does he have one?

Surely… all humans have a breaking point, but I have yet to see his. What is too much? I don’t know. Perhaps… it is that light that shields his soul. That light that shines through even the thickest coat of tar. He will never be completely smothered in evil- there will always be a little good left in him.

Is it, perhaps, his age? So young… He doesn’t know the world for what it was meant to be, he only knows the reality. And what a harsh reality it is. Demons and angels alike, the world wondering if such a thing could exist, yet a boy, of merely thirteen, discovering such an existence. What a burden that must be.

Yet, as the years pass on, I feel the black hole, the abyss deep within me, shrink at an astonishing speed. Year after year, closer and closer, Ciel Phantomhive - a spectacle; an enchantment. So lovely he has grown to be; Lady Elizabeth is lucky to consider him a suitor. A future husband, if not her life. A cousin, yes, definitely- but in this era, nobility must marry nobility, as their fates intertwine indefinitely.

Ciel Phantomhive, a suitor for Lady Elizabeth, yet so much more… his endurance, his charm, his persistence, and his ideals… they all circle around him like the symbol for infinity. Forever, I presume, he shall be persistent. Forever he shall endure. Forever he shall retain his ideals and goals. That much, to me, is everything. To stand strong for so long; even as a human life to a

demon is fleeting, to a human, most goals are also just as quick to disperse among the stars. Lost hopes and dreams- those are what make a star. One’s innocence- hopes and dreams surround it-

and ** _“once lost, you can never get it back again.”_**

Or so the young master would say. Yes, the stars are bright. The fiercer the dream and hopes, the brighter the star shines. But there is one star missing- the young master’s star.

Well, he’s not so much a young master now, than he was back then. He’s a master- a fine one. That much is clearly evident with each confident stride he takes, and each flick of his wrist. Those strong cerulean hues, stern with command, yet gentle like the calm ocean on a sunny day…

captivating.

The deep lull of his voice keeps the monster within me at bay, even as my hunger surfaces. His gentle touch, if ever by accident, sends me over the edge like a cascading waterfall, plunging me into the deepest, darkest depths of that serene scene. He tips me over, messes me up, and overwhelms me with unknown tingles throughout my body. What a man he has become.

A man indeed, but no meal for me.

No, there’s something about him that has me pausing. That has me hesitating. I can’t imagine what it could possibly be… but even here, as I readily bathe him, even at this age… his body has matured. He’s well-educated, a man noteworthy and appraisable by all. He is still known as the Queen’s Guard Dog- and every day that he gets older, the same question is asked.

The same question that even I can’t answer.

“Why haven’t you taken me, yet?”

Ah, such a simple question. A simple question with a complicated answer.

“Master, that is for you to discover on your own.” I answered smoothly, calmly as my fingers run through every strand of perfect ashen hair.

“I can’t possibly know why you’re waiting- I’ve already had my revenge. I have no other reason to live.” he answered coldly. So sharp a tongue- with me?

My fingers halt in his hair, and I pull back. His perfectly shaped body swivels towards me, eyes cold and uncaring, yet I find it within myself to laugh at this rather innocent position. My master, so angry, yet in a tub with soap suds in his hair.

“Why are you laughing?” he grumbled.

What is there to say? Certainly nothing. After having said that there was no other reason to live… that managed to hit me. Like a sharp fingernail prodding at my heart, the laughter that followed, dare I say, was the only thing still holding me together.

No reason to live? That was absurd.

“Hey- Sebastian. Answer me.” He repeated, one hand lifting to cup my jaw. The simple action had me freezing in place, laughter dying in my throat as the gorgeous male stared me down like I was nothing but a hindrance to him if I did not obey. I knew I wasn’t a hindrance- I was the only thing driving him forward.

There was always this bluff about his gaze- always saved for me. For his faithful servant of nearly ten years.

Ciel’s body, now, no longer just the slope of his neck, turned completely around in the bath just to face me. Startled, I backed just a fraction, wondering if he was planning to get out like that.

“Master, at least let me wash the suds from your hair before you decide to get out.” I muttered.

“I’m not getting out.” He responded sharply. “I want an answer from you, though. And you will tell me. Don’t make me make it an order.”

My shoulders droop, and I sighed. “Master, if I truly knew the answer to your question, I would have told you long ago. I don’t know what’s going on as it is- but I’ve been trying to buy time until I figure it out.”

A smooth, gentle eyebrow rose, sloping in question to my words. I sighed again, thumb smoothing that curve of a brow. I could feel my face soften at just the touch; the touches we exchanged. He hadn’t taken his hand away from my face, nor I from his, and we sat there together for the longest moment, merely touching.

I was so unsure why touching like this brought such a comfort, but it would seem that the master found comfort in it just as I had.

“Sebastian…” He murmured carefully, eyes like pools of starlight. I’d never seen anything more beautiful in that moment.

“Yes?” I asked in a hushed voice, low without even meaning my voice to be. It just was.

Ciel pulled away, then, turning his back to me and resting easily against the curve of the porcelain tub like he once had. “Finish bathing me, please. I wish to retire early tonight.”

“You can’t, my Lord. Lady Elizabeth is coming over this evening.”

A soft scoff could be heard, and Ciel flicked his wrist. “I don’t care. I’m going to sleep. Do whatever you need to in order to get her not to come over. I’m tired of her showing up unannounced at my doorstep every day. It was a miracle she even said she was going to show up today.”

A soft sigh escaped my lips, before I nodded, carefully bringing water up to his head to rinse him. I couldn’t help but feel his skin beneath my fingers; it was one of the only times I got to truly touch him like this without a question. I looked forward to just this, hoping that one day, Ciel would never ask to take a bath alone. I valued these moments too much. I needed these moments too much…

I often questioned myself as to why I was here. Was it just because I wanted to touch him? Was it his gentle voice or his fierce eyes? Was it the way he walked, or was it just me? Was it because I liked this era and wished to linger? Demons don’t usually wish to linger anywhere…

Anywhere without humans were the places where most demons wished to be.

“Sebastian…” Ciel’s voice echoed through my ears.

I glanced up, eyes widening a little. I hadn’t realized that I had spaced out so badly- I hadn’t even heard what Ciel had said.

“Dammit all to Hell…” Ciel cursed, cupping my jaw. I couldn’t even process. The water from the tub leaked through the fabric of my uniform as a rugged, shrill sound escaped my throat. It was all a blur- being tugged with a force I was not accustomed into the bath water with Ciel- and soft lips against mine.

Firm, demanding, yet soft and hesitant. My insides curled and shook as I landed on top of him. My arms shook, trying not to crush him with my weight as he tugged me down further and further.

Yet, as my mind wanted to pull away, my body didn’t want that. It wanted more. It wanted what Ciel was giving it, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it, either. My body wanted this. I wanted this, despite my moral obligation to keep at a distance and protect him like a servant and demon should.

This feeling went against everything I stood for; it went against everything I ever achieved in the millennia-long life that I’ve held. It closed the collapsar even further- the one that I’ve worked so hard to open.

It didn’t even take much.

But for right now, that was the least of my concerns.

His arms wound around my neck, which prickled and rose against his touch. My fingers wound around those slender, yet well-built hips. They were still small, but they fit perfectly in my hands.

A moan escaped those pastel lips as I took control of the kiss of my own accord. There was no hunger. I could practically taste his soul, yet… that wasn’t what I wanted. My tongue caressed his in the most intimate of ways, pulling him upward, closer to my body. He clung to me, knowing I was fully capable of holding him upright with a single hand. He had faith in me.

I couldn’t help but smile just a fraction as the kiss grew more desperate. In the end, it was Ciel who pulled away first, and it was I who refused to pull away. My lips grazed his shoulder, searching and tasting his fresh skin. I didn’t even know what I was doing at that point; my mind was clouded with a type of lust I’ve never felt before.

Though it was true I’d taken more women in my time than Ciel would ever in his, this time was the only time I ever felt different. As if this time, it were personal. Real. Palpable. It was as if I would die if I didn’t touch him.

And from his eagerness, I would almost say he felt the same.

“Seb- hah… Sebastian…” He panted softly, his breath trying to return to his lungs. “I… need you…-”

“Ciel…” I breathed across his skin. My lips parted to take up his adam’s apple; it convulsed under my hot mouth, and I shivered in anticipation. I’d never felt this before…

“need you… to stop…” He gasped out, fingers digging into my hair.

I groaned in protest, suckling that rounded perfection within his neck, fingers exploring the naked body before me like I just couldn’t help it. And I really couldn’t.

“I need you…” I responded without really thinking. My lips lifted, kissing his soft jaw. “I need you so much… I can’t breathe…”

Our lips connected again; my body righted his, helping him up. I couldn’t think clearly at all; my feet stumbled, yet kept us upright. My clothes were shed by desperate hands, and my own worked with a towel I had set out for him.

I desperately tried to dry us both off as my lips clung, twisted, and my tongue found his. With lips locked, hands feeling one another up, I drug him to his own bed, throwing him upon the mattress and mounting him like the animal I was in that moment. I had no control.

Every time before, I was always in control, level-headed, and had a purpose. There was no purpose to this. There was no control in the way I toyed with his body. There was nothing level-headed about the way my lips ravaged every part of his body. This was simply need. This was simply desire.

Ciel’s lips were parted, moaning every obscenity in the book with the way I handled him. I didn’t know if I was being gentle for him, or if I was being too rough, I didn’t have the mind to notice. All I wanted was Ciel.

All of him. His mind. His body. His soul. I wanted every little piece of him; I wanted to possess him like no one else has, I wanted to wreck him like no one else was able. I wanted to make a mess of him, and I wanted to own him.

He’d never done anything like this before- still a virgin even at his age, yes… but it made his reactions of pleasure and surprise all the sweeter.

 

**_“The world is not sweet. That’s why everyone likes sweet things.”_ **

 

Sweet… So sweet were his soft cries, the way his hands so perfectly played with my wet hair, and how he quite possesively pulled me down to him. How he so desperately almost asked for more, yet tried to refrain from it, all because of the fact that he was a prideful being, yet a most greedy one, as well. He indeed wanted more.

My lips sealed over his as my fingers felt inside of him for the very first time. He was warm and tight, I could tell- but it wasn’t the fucking that made my heart jump. It was how he clung to me. It was how his body arched into my touch, and it was the way his lips begged for mine.

Addiction.

He couldn’t get enough of me, I could tell. I’d kill to find out what was going on in that beautiful head of his. He was already perspiring, and his abs clenched with every inch I stroked deeper inside of him. He was the essence I was missing- that was why…

 

**_“I shall remain under your service…until the day in which lies become truth.”_ **

 

And that predetermined day had long since passed, yet I was still here. He was still here. I had never hesitated before in my life. But here I am, marking every inch of his skin, feeling how real he is against me, and loving the way his breath feels against my skin, and knowing this was not the way things were supposed to turn out, balancing between my duty—the aesthetics— and what I really yearned for—which was this.

Our lips connect again; his fingers tug my hair, looping, shoving my face closer to his. I don’t mind; I want to be as close as I can to him. My fingers massage his skin, and they’re shaking. Probably from anticipation. Probably from longing. I feel like I’ve wanted this for too long, yet I can’t recall a single moment where I looked at him lustfully. Not like this.

And much less a moment in which he looked at me the same way. With such longing, urge, hesitation, and a small bit of fear that still lingered there, in his stare. In those beautiful eyes that would match sapphire blue, had I not ruined one of them with the ugly, unsightly mark of the covenant. The one that bound him and I together, in a vicious cycle of hate and deception.

 

**_“Nothing will ever breed from Hatred.”_ **

 

Nothing good will ever come out from vengeance. It will only cause more hatred, more sorrow, more thirst for vengeance once more. It is a cycle that never ends, and that will probably cause the end of this, the human world at some point in time; the extinction of this species. That’s what I had been trying to tell him since day one, yet I did not understand how humans worked—much less children. I knew no way of pointing that out rather than to make fun of him. Make him mad. And of course, he did not respond in a positive way.

I slowly pressed one more finger inside of him, feeling him writhe underneath my touch and pull my hair gently, softly…almost as he didn’t wish to cause me pain, for me to hurt. And to be honest, I would never hurt around him, because he was the one that healed me, somehow. The only way he could hurt me was if he did it to wound me on purpose, and I honestly do not know how that would go down.

 

**_“Humans beings are supremely tragic, supremely absurd…and supremely delightful!”_ **

 

Everything about them makes them so amusing. How depending on their birth, upbringing, family, wealth, and past, they can be different; have different senses of justice… And how depending on the level of their self-esteem they are capable of doing things I never thought they would.

One of them may live in a shell of his or herself after some specific event, while others may just use that to gain advantage over everyone else. The second type are the ones I deem the most amusing. But then comes love, comes hesitance, and gets in their way. Stops them from achieving their goals. I dislike that. But then again, it is not in the place of someone who has not a thing to do with human beings to give his opinion on their affairs.

After letting my Master explore my body as he pleased, I deemed him ready to take me on, and after asking for permission, I let myself inside of him, worshipping his body, his mind, and his soul.

 

_Wondering since when a Demon could fall in love, and even more with a Human._

 

_Since when I could see someone not for their Soul, but for their Heart._

 

_And since when a human being could be as Perfect as Ciel was._

 

_**And then, the Collapsar was no more, outshined by a star, and beginning to have a glow of its own…** _

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please, if you liked this oneshot, please kudo and comment on it! I'll be eternally grateful to you, plus it'd really help me, cuz I need some writing fuel lol.


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